Tag Archives: motorcycle bug

Motorcycle School

School classroom in Japanese high school

Thursday night, motorcycle training starts in the classroom. I arrive ten minutes early and it feels like five minutes late. The instructor, a heavy-set, middle-aged white man with a handlebar mustache (no cliché here), is seated at the dated desk in the front of the room with his reading glasses resting on the tip of his nose.

“Name?” he asks without looking up from his list. I give him my last name, he holds out a white envelope and tells me to address it to myself. While I write, he reviews the six or seven pages of paperwork I completed before the class. It contains consent forms that remove liability from the instructors and the school should I fall off the bike and hurt myself or some other poor soul during the riding portion of the training. He informs me that I missed a signature, which I remedy on the spot. He tells me to find and take a seat.

The room is full. Twenty-two people of all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors, some shifting in their seats, some watching me, and others reviewing the pamphlet that is resting on the remaining open desks. I slide into an open seat and recognize the Motorcycle Safety booklet. The fifty-odd-some pages cover all the motorcycle rules and best practices of the road from cornering and lane positions to proper gear and blood alcohol limits.

Class begins promptly at 6pm and one student is left knocking on the outside door at 6:03pm. The instructor, Dale, goes on with his opening speech unfazed. Another student finally opens the door and lets the thirty-something year old Latino man inside the classroom. The instructor gives the mortified student the self-addressed stamped envelope and reminds him and the rest of the class not to be late on Saturday or the door will be locked forcing he or she to drop and re-enroll in a later session.

Dale fires up an old PC to display an antiquated Powerpoint presentation, which appears to have been created in 1996. The material he covers, however, is relevant, informative, and terrifying. For example, a motorcycle rider is thirty-three times more likely to have an accident than a car driver. Not double or triple or even quadruple, but thirty-three times more likely. We learn quickly that how you gear up matters: helmet, boots, jacket, reflective gear, gloves, and so on.

A few minutes before 10pm, Dale concludes the class and reminds us to be on time to the range, that is the motorcycle riding range, on Saturday morning. The plan is to practice riding for half the day on Saturday, then return to the classroom to complete a written test. If we pass the test, we can come back on Sunday. If we don’t pass, we can re-enroll at a later date. Assuming we pass the test, we ride on Sunday morning and take the riding test on Sunday afternoon. If we pass, we can apply to take the DMV test afterwards.

One class down, two days of riding and two tests to go. So far, still here.


Like a Taylor Swift song, no matter what evasive tactics I’ve employed, such as humming new melodies or attempting to jam-pack my mind with other things, you know, work stuff, writing, surfing social media feeds, pondering how Meisha Tate lost her UFC belt so quickly, any distraction, nothing seemed to shake the proverbial motorcycle love song in my head. The moto bug, as I’ve coined it, has me, and it’s infected my soul.
While racking my brain for a solution and browsing through bikes on Craigslist, a new idea, like a beacon of shining (head)light, dawned on me. What better way to get this out of my system than to force myself to go to a classroom with boring textbooks and long lectures and tough tests. Nobody wants that kind of punishment, especially not me. I’ll simply enroll in a motorcycle training course, hate it, and end this internal battle. Affliction cured.
After a little research, I landed on the Northern California Motorcycle Training course held in San Mateo. The course and instructors received good reviews on yelp, which made it feel relatively harmless. Besides, what did I have to worry about? I’d probably drop out after the first hour or so, right? Maybe I’d make it through the lecture, but as soon as I’d have to put on a helmet or coordinate my feet on pedals with my hands on levers while balancing on two wheels, well, that’ll be the end of it. I’ll fail, get discouraged, and walk off the asphalt, a bona fide motorcycle school dropout.
So there, it’s done. I’m registered. If the course does its job, I should drop out and rediscover my disdain for motorcycles. I’ll have succeeded in putting this incorrigible idea to bed, buried deep in a dark coffin under many layers of dirt, asphalt and concrete. Before long, I’ll be saying to myself and others, remember that time I thought I wanted to ride a motorcycle and then dropped out of motorcycle training? Ha, what was I thinking? I or others will laugh at the absurdity of it all. Oh, what a goofball, a motorcycle of all things. And the whole idiotic insinuation will become a distant memory. It’s a perfect plan.